Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: INeedToDie on July 23, 2011, 05:35 am
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Please... Please tell me what drugs I need to buy. I want out. I need to leave.
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Hi troll
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Hi troll
I'm no troll. I should of been more clear. Please... somebody tell me what I need to overdose on. I really need to leave. I am in so much pain... the sooner I can order the better.
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Yeah, you need to leave. CTRL+W should do the trick.
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Yeah, you need to leave. CTRL+W should do the trick.
Please.... I hurt as-is. Don't say this.
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Yeah, you need to leave. CTRL+W should do the trick.
Please.... I hurt as-is. Don't say this.
We like our site. Want to preserve it. If you're in bad shape get help, get heroin, get AA, go to church, get a tall
building...but don' treat us like idiots. I suspect that what you *really* want to do is talk about it. And we have a real short attention span...and we realize we have the interest of politicians and the law, so find somewhere else.
Of buy a shotgun and go into a drugstore and order up all the schedule 2 opiates...and party down...
People who really want to check out, don't go on forums talking about it...
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Just tell me what I need and I will be on my way. I just want to place my order, get the drugs and die peacefully. That's it.
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you don't need to die.
try purchasing some mushrooms, it will give you a new perspective on life.
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What drug will nearly guarantee a perspective change that isn't brain-burning?
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What drug will nearly guarantee a perspective change that isn't brain-burning?
magic mushrooms. get some mdma to go along with it, it will make you reevaluate things.
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What drug will nearly guarantee a perspective change that isn't brain-burning?
Love. It's the ultimate wonder drug. 8)
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Yeah, you need to leave. CTRL+W should do the trick.
Please.... I hurt as-is. Don't say this.
Not to many people have stood in front of a 60mph train and lived to tell the tale. A lot quicker and cheaper than waiting for drugs to arrive after ordering on SR.
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The awesome drama of nature
Unfold before my very eye
before that Eye I I which
sees all and knows all.
And on
and on
Inside goes:
Aum Mani Padme Hum
Always bringing me right to my heart
where I dwell eternally.
~Be Here Now
Love is all around you. The universe is always singing love to you.
Peace,
DigitalAlch
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5 grams of tar will do the job nicely.
Anything else we can help you with?
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a big benzo overdose would probably be your best bet, half a gram, or a gram to be sure, chances are by the time your respiratory system fails your brain will be all but off and you wont really know about it, another possible choice is using helium and a bag, excessive helium inhalation will kill you, as far as im aware you just "fade out" theres also an overdose of phenobarbital which is what is used for the lethal injection
im not going to tell you that you shouldnt do it or try and lecture you, i dont know your life or situation so it certainly wouldnt be fair for me to do so, i myself have been there before, got to the point where ive pretty much had enough but decided id just wait until its over, i dont live a healthy life in any way so it cant be that long and it saves me having to make the final decision on a method being that im an indecisive bastard. just think very seriously about it before you take any actions, talk to some people you know, they will try and talk you out of it, if after that you still want to go through with it then that is your choice to make
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This is serious; and you need serious advice, so here goes (no brain burning, I promise):
Life is a beautiful journey best taken with another person, hand in hand.
It's probably best if you don't sit in front of your computer all night tonight and daydream about drugs...
Go out, take a walk, notice the night sky, notice all those stars up in the night sky, imagine yourself as one of those stars.
Keeping that thought in mind, go to a 24 hour Target or Sam Goody and buy a copy of the Bad Company eponymously titled album.
Listen to the song "Shooting Star". Look up "Shooting Star" on Youtube and read all the comments under the song viewer. Here's the first one I saw there just now:
"My friend started this song, took a handful of oxycodone then drank a 5th of vodka and said goodbye to everyone. We buried him yesterday: --FloridaSon19681 2 weeks ago 23 "
Ponder the possibility of having deja vu and a flashback at the same time. Then ponder it again; this time simultaneously.
Now imagine that you're floating on a cloud, high above all the other clouds, with Bad Company playing softly in the background.
Your mind should be very calm and clear now....so...proceed (albeit with caution!)
Now...call 911
Tell them you're having "bad thoughts" and ask to speak to someone at the Suicide Prevention Hotline
When the person answers, don't let them say anything. Immediately tell them in your best stream of consciousness mode, all psychiatric disorders (whether diagnosed, as yet undiagnosed, or imagined), major life events that have affected you, and your past history of suicidal ideations (don't fudge here, you know there's "things" you need to disclose).
Concentrate on the soothing tone of the Hotline volunteers voice. You will recall the beautiful night sky and the wonderful Bad Company music.
Ask the Hotline volunteer the Wiki definition of "parasuicide". Listen closely while controlling your breathing. In, out, in, out, in, out.
At this point your anxiety and distress should be completely alleviated. If not, go back to the first step and repeat; as often as necessary.
FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY: sign on to Youtube and Google "too cute! kittens! nom nom nom!" Watch all the results in order.
Warning: this is an emergency action and should not be continued for more than 10 hours in one sitting.
Sign out of your account (that you created today for this special occasion!) and make a new account called "I Want To Live"
Enjoy!
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Yeah, you need to leave. CTRL+W should do the trick.
Please.... I hurt as-is. Don't say this.
We like our site. Want to preserve it. If you're in bad shape get help, get heroin, get AA, go to church, get a tall
building...but don' treat us like idiots. I suspect that what you *really* want to do is talk about it. And we have a real short attention span...and we realize we have the interest of politicians and the law, so find somewhere else.
Of buy a shotgun and go into a drugstore and order up all the schedule 2 opiates...and party down...
People who really want to check out, don't go on forums talking about it...
PHUBAIBLUES--you cretin! You insensitive bastard! I had thought that you and I were going to have a long, wonderful and mutually beneficial renlationship. But now that you've shown your true colors, I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop talking to you FOREVER!!!
ummm..."forever" is like 10 seconds, ok? ;)
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5 grams of tar will do the job nicely.
Anything else we can help you with?
Lol don't give him ideas. This guy is obviously in a spot of bother, why i have never gone down the exit route or suicidal thought process i understand that it would not be pleasent.
Seek help from local organisations/close friends/people who actually take the time to be a listening ear without discounting you first up..
Id love to help with advice to enjoy life more without asking questions such as yours, but i simply cant lol...
You can only help yourself and if you found silk road via tor etc, then you obviously have a basic knack for retrieving relative information on the web such as "succesful and methoidcal ways of suicide, or some shit like that ?? Soo what i want to know is why you came to this board to ask. when you have dedicated places to help people in your position ?
It's not really any of my business anyway... but yeah seek proper help for you mental health and well being. If life's that bad i can think of hundreds of ways to carry out the task,,
over @ bluelight.ru you will find a dedicated area with plenty of helpful related discussion with people in similar rock bottom areas..
Chin up, its not nice at all, quite frankly sux lol, but yeah, lifes good, dont exit yet :P
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Chin up, its not nice at all, quite frankly sux lol, but yeah, lifes good, dont exit yet :P
people always hit you with that one, im not having a go here but its not always that easy, for some of us life is not good and hasnt been for a long time and again no offense but people telling you itll get better when you yourself can be pretty certain it wont does not make you feel better it just makes you feel that little bit more bitter that yet another person has a nice fulfilling life. but then im not saying anyone should listen to my dreary depressing whitterings its just what ive learned from personal experience. when life keeps kicking you in the balls you can only stand up again so many times before you get fed up and stay down
ive had people tell me that i should "seek help" too, but what help can they offer (usually being patronizing and making you feel like your wasting their time, i hate doctors) is there someone out there who can swing the wheels of fate in my favour? because im pretty sure controlling fate and fortune arent part of the average medical degree, my problems are right here in the real world not all in my head and its something medication cant fix. again sorry if im coming off as an asshole but i often dont have the sunniest view on things and thought it would be appropriate to put in an opinion from the other side of the coin if you will, but again by no means am i saying the OP should go and commit suicide, that is totally his choice and anyones who is considering it and its something that needs very careful consideration, as i said tell your family and friends, anyone close to you, and if after that you still want to go through with it then you can start thinking about the method
again please dont take offense to my posting this, im not qualified to give advice to anyone on anything at all, its just how i feel having been/being kind of at that stage myself
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Nah your right mate, no offense taken. At the time of writing the "chin up" comment i was thinking to myself, hmm im saying this to someone when im use to being told that..
I have been to hell and back don't worry lol.. i know how hard it is... and yeah how many times have you heard someone say, "i understand what your going through" only to have them answer with something like "you have no idea what im going through" and they are right, technically we don't. the hardest thing is being the person going through the tough time without having even the slightest idea on how to explain the method to your madness and feelings to someone in an accurate and understood manner.
My advice to this guy i guess you could say was a rather generalized generic approach lol... my intention was to pass of what people would tell me when im the one in the rock bottom position... rock bottom for me was always horrible, with extreme ups and downs however i never had the desire of harming myself in any way, it seemed pointless, I'm not finished with exploring my minds pathways yet lol :)
While i don't carry the suicidal desire, i still take into consideration what these unfortunate bastards go through.
No offence taken :) I love hearing people opinions on here whether they appreciate my points of view or not. Keeps things interesting!! :)
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... I want out. I need to leave.
Forget the drugs....
Go to the local store, tell them you have a gun, a bomb, and the Bible. You are there to rob and kill them in the name of Jesus. When the cops come...which would be in seconds, pull your hand out of your jacket real quick and...vola. DOA. No pain, no drugs....just a 1 second flash and your gone. You won't have to fuck with SR.
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... I want out. I need to leave.
Forget the drugs....
Go to the local store, tell them you have a gun, a bomb, and the Bible. You are there to rob and kill them in the name of Jesus. When the cops come...which would be in seconds, pull your hand out of your jacket real quick and...vola. DOA. No pain, no drugs....just a 1 second flash and your gone. You won't have to fuck with SR.
lol i admire your creative method :) call me a softy but this guy could be seriously messy atm, and that sort of advice might be a little over the top lol
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... I want out. I need to leave.
Forget the drugs....
Go to the local store, tell them you have a gun, a bomb, and the Bible. You are there to rob and kill them in the name of Jesus. When the cops come...which would be in seconds, pull your hand out of your jacket real quick and...vola. DOA. No pain, no drugs....just a 1 second flash and your gone. You won't have to fuck with SR.
If you decide to go the gun route, I'd be willing to take all those BTC you have off your hands for USD10.00 a piece.
You wouldn't mind a post-dated check for a week from tomorrow, would you?
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... I want out. I need to leave.
Forget the drugs....
Go to the local store, tell them you have a gun, a bomb, and the Bible. You are there to rob and kill them in the name of Jesus. When the cops come...which would be in seconds, pull your hand out of your jacket real quick and...vola. DOA. No pain, no drugs....just a 1 second flash and your gone. You won't have to fuck with SR.
If you decide to go the gun route, I'd be willing to take all those BTC you have off your hands for USD10.00 a piece.
You wouldn't mind a post-dated check for a week from tomorrow, would you?
hahah
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5 grams of tar will do the job nicely.
Anything else we can help you with?
;D ;D ;D
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a big benzo overdose would probably be your best bet, half a gram, or a gram to be sure, chances are by the time your respiratory system fails your brain will be all but off and you wont really know about it, another possible choice is using helium and a bag, excessive helium inhalation will kill you, as far as im aware you just "fade out" theres also an overdose of phenobarbital which is what is used for the lethal injection
im not going to tell you that you shouldnt do it or try and lecture you, i dont know your life or situation so it certainly wouldnt be fair for me to do so, i myself have been there before, got to the point where ive pretty much had enough but decided id just wait until its over, i dont live a healthy life in any way so it cant be that long and it saves me having to make the final decision on a method being that im an indecisive bastard. just think very seriously about it before you take any actions, talk to some people you know, they will try and talk you out of it, if after that you still want to go through with it then that is your choice to make
Please take your conversation over to alt.suicide etc....This is NOT the place to discuss euthanasia, as SRM does not need attention like that....Visit a CTB site for god's sake.
And before you hurt yourself, benzos wont kill you...do your research. Honestly this is not the place for even debating this shit....What you're looking for is 1) psychological help 2) a way out.
We here do not provide much beyond 1). You need something like a short-acting, rapid-onset barbiturate like Nembutal or Pentobarbital. We do not have it here, and I don't think it will be popping up due to the
risk involved.
Sorry dude, but this is not the forum to discuss "I want to die". Please don't expect serious answers here. Really.
~B
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Get some pet animal. Dog or cat or whatever you want..that may help you more then you imagine..
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+ 1
My dog changed my life. I don't even have to fetch my QP's from the basement anymore!
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+ 1
My dog changed my life. I don't even have to fetch my QP's from the basement anymore!
Hah! Thats gold!
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BUy some Ketamine and do enough just to get high...There doing research showing K is being used to treat depression that does not respond to the normal treatments...Some MDMA couldnt hurt either
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Whenever I get into that selfish pit of despair that is so self-consuming other people cease to exist, I remind myself....
I'm not in a war-torn country, age 7, carrying an AK-47 wondering whether or not my leg will be blown off tomorrow, and HOPING that I will die sooner rather than later
I'm not in Uganda or the Sahel of Africa, wondering how many insects i'm going to get to eat today or how I'll possibly survive one more day without water...(my stomach bloated to 5 times its normal size. )
I'm not forced to have my clitoris cut off for the simple fact that I'm a woman, or wear garb covering my entire body except my eyes, or forced into prostitution at the age of 6 in the red light districts of India.
So yeah, the fact that you say "you've been to hell and back" is pretty fucking relative. And, the fact that you choose to bring it up in a forum type setting, tells me you want to talk about it, not do it. I had sympathy for someone else who brought something like this up a while back.
You live in a fucking country where you can walk your self-pitying ass into an Emergency Room and they'll whisk you away into a Hilton type setting with all sorts of Ativan and anti-depressents and a therapy plan to get you feeling all sorts of Less-Self-Centered.
If you wanna die, and you can't count your blessings, then man-up and do the old-fashion way. Make sure you write some sort of self-centered suicide note that you think will somehow make all the people that love you feel better about the completely fucked thing you've done to them.
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Equipment for Dyeing
Use dedicated equipment for dyeing and set it aside to never be used for food preparation. Standard equipment includes stainless-steel tongs, wooden spoons, measuring spoons and cups, and stainless-steel kettles.
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actually despite it being an RC ive found that MXE is even more effective for that purpose than ket, a sub hole dose of MXE actually makes me feel almost happy for a few days after, uplifted if you will, the only problem being that you have to spend an evening bumping into things around your house and whatnot. id disagree with the mdma though, while itll lift your mood while your on it you may well end up feeling much more depressed in the following days, but in any case self medication of a dissociative is no way to deal with a long standing problem, no doubt drugs can help though, you cant run or hide from your problems but a short break from them now and then sure helps to cope with the load. the other problem with dissociatives for depression is that if you do a bit much and slip into a hole it can all go a bit horror show on you, but even that is better than getting put on some god awful ssri by a quack
and apologies for my mistake on the benzos youd need to combine them with alcohol or another respiratory depressant it seems, but even then my own semi OD on blues and booze (25x10mg valium, 2g coke, 8 crap x pills and a crate or so of lager, everything i had at the time) just made me lose about 9 days that i only know existed because i was told about them by people who saw me. id just assumed a larger dose of them would shut down your respiratory system fully, guess i got some bum information somewhere
and yes happytree there are people worse off than you, but there are also just as many people if not more having a good life and they arent a million miles away, theyre right there for you to see all the time and as i said earlier hearing that people have it worse or better than you is no comfort to someone with these kind of issues, and who says you have people who love you, not everyone is blessed with popularity and love
thats part of the prob with this thread no one here knows this guys situation but youre all telling him how great he has it. put it like this, if you were in an accident and lost both your legs how would it make you feel if the doc said "ah well youve still got yer arms and now you get a lovely shiny wheelchair too so smile eh, things are going great for you compared to people in the impoverished nations"
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Because, as I stated, it's all relative. I've suffered from all kinds of would-be-diagnosis. That's the whole problem with Western Society, everyone has "issues". Really? I mean, REALLY!? Western medicine has us so brain-washed to think that if you feel like sleeping all the time have no interest in things you used to, and just stare listlessly out the window, you're "depressed". Well, no shit.
Ever see the documentary on that Mermaid girl? Her legs were webbed together, she had to be tube fed into her stomach, shit/peed through a tube. But she was the most happy, elated, chipper little girl I've seen. Why? Because she chose to be. You're right, I don't feel sorry for a guy who comes onto SR asking for the best concoction of medication to off himself. Do I understand where he's coming from? No.
My point, is many, many, many people in this world (and next door) could and can all complain what shit lives they're in. And even when you think no one loves you, well, I think there is at least one; hence the point I also reiterate to get a pet.
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Why would you want to die? If you are religious that probably means you fear doing so and if you aren't religious then you should REALLY fear doing it. Why chance it. Enjoy your life, you probably are a 15 year old in High school and your gf sucked off the football captain or something. Don't sweat it, as you get older you see it's really not a big deal.
Now if you are bedridden for life, in pain 24/7 then I can see maybe thinking about it , maybe. But anything else besides that, even having your whole family killed in front of you would still not be worth killing yourself. Be selfish man, wake the fuck up.
You want a new outlook on life wait a fucking year, all your interests will have changed. If you aren't a kid then even when you get older a few years is all it takes for you to suddenly "now get what it all means", you'll laugh at what a fool you were 5 years ago and this will happen forever until you die.
When you die you will become worm food, your grandchildren's grandchildren wont know who you were or even give a fuck. Unless you were famous you wont even exist in memory.
Are you prepaired for that? Enjoy your time kid.
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Well said. I'm reading this pretty good book on history of drug use, 'The Pursuit of Oblivion,' and one of the areas he mentioned is how the hyper self-consciousness of western society has made us more prone to drug use...that and the whole 'disease concept' where everybody's 'sick' "I have the disease of addiction" ...sigh...fuck me...I've lived in countries where most people have serious trouble just staying alive, keeping a roof over their head, providing food for their families, and they don't have time for all this shit...and they aren't suicidal. We're just too well fed and introspective, and there's always a shrink willing to diagnose depression to add to our maladies. It's too easy to just lay down and pull the covers over one's head and feel bad...fuck that. I don't accept it.
Because, as I stated, it's all relative. I've suffered from all kinds of would-be-diagnosis. That's the whole problem with Western Society, everyone has "issues". Really? I mean, REALLY!? Western medicine has us so brain-washed to think that if you feel like sleeping all the time have no interest in things you used to, and just stare listlessly out the window, you're "depressed". Well, no shit.
Ever see the documentary on that Mermaid girl? Her legs were webbed together, she had to be tube fed into her stomach, shit/peed through a tube. But she was the most happy, elated, chipper little girl I've seen. Why? Because she chose to be. You're right, I don't feel sorry for a guy who comes onto SR asking for the best concoction of medication to off himself. Do I understand where he's coming from? No.
My point, is many, many, many people in this world (and next door) could and can all complain what shit lives they're in. And even when you think no one loves you, well, I think there is at least one; hence the point I also reiterate to get a pet.
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Whenever I get into that selfish pit of despair that is so self-consuming other people cease to exist, I remind myself....
I'm not in a war-torn country, age 7, carrying an AK-47 wondering whether or not my leg will be blown off tomorrow, and HOPING that I will die sooner rather than later
I'm not in Uganda or the Sahel of Africa, wondering how many insects i'm going to get to eat today or how I'll possibly survive one more day without water...(my stomach bloated to 5 times its normal size. )
I'm not forced to have my clitoris cut off for the simple fact that I'm a woman, or wear garb covering my entire body except my eyes, or forced into prostitution at the age of 6 in the red light districts of India.
So yeah, the fact that you say "you've been to hell and back" is pretty fucking relative. And, the fact that you choose to bring it up in a forum type setting, tells me you want to talk about it, not do it. I had sympathy for someone else who brought something like this up a while back.
You live in a fucking country where you can walk your self-pitying ass into an Emergency Room and they'll whisk you away into a Hilton type setting with all sorts of Ativan and anti-depressents and a therapy plan to get you feeling all sorts of Less-Self-Centered.
If you wanna die, and you can't count your blessings, then man-up and do the old-fashion way. Make sure you write some sort of self-centered suicide note that you think will somehow make all the people that love you feel better about the completely fucked thing you've done to them.
Excellent post. Reminds me of that old Warrior soul song, Get wasted
You wanna die ya so what, no one cares if you`re a suicide
You want every thing still, not enough for you tonight
You`re trippin` on the system cause a riot on a doomsday ride
Let`s get high get wasted
Let`s get high get wasted
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Nice post HappyTree!
This is why I posted 3 or 4 sarcastic answers to this poster.
If the OP really has issues, then go somewhere and talk to someone. If she really just wants drugs she can wait outside the methadone clinic in her home town and pay one of the people to take her to get enough heroin to off herself in one shot.
What she DOES NOT need to do is come on a forum about obtaining and taking recreational drugs and play the "poor me" card. For that, she deserves the responses she has gotten. She came for ATTENTION and she got it. Not the kind she wanted? Too damn bad.
I've spent a lot of time in W. Africa and their lives are nothing but trying to find enough food just to survive till the next day. Except when war comes along, like it did for 10 years in Sierra Leone, then the rebel forces give all the boys 8 yrs old and up a single choice: join us and fight and kill each other OR we chop off one or both of your arms. Oh, don't believe us? CHOP! Ok, 30 seconds, what's your decision? And it's not a movie. It's real life.
Three billion of the world's almost seven billion people live on a budget of less than $2 a day. Try that sometime and then tell the world that life in America is hell on Earth.
Lastly, Ive been pretty successful in life, but I never let my ego get the best of me and forget that despite the fact that I worked really hard, 90% of why I am successful is dependent on my being born a white male in America. All of my hard work wouldn't have meant shit if I had been born a black woman in Ethiopia. But hey, at least I could have gotten my clit cut off.
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mushrooms.
If you wanna talk, the shroomery has a suicide forum. Nice people there. (sometimes)
If you really want to reevaluate everything.
get some DMT and an MAOI. pharmahuasca the fuck outta yourself.
It'll be harsh, but it might be what you needed.
It was what I needed.
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+1